Happy Birthday, Chris Medina ... Love, Juliana

Last year around this date we were hosting a party with the small(ish) group of people who knew Chris was going to Hollywood to send him off in style.  The plan was to have a birthday party but also raffle off a few items and collect birthday donations so that we could generate enough money to buy him a brand new Martin guitar.  His mom and I assembled the food and liquor and we all met at my house to show him how much we loved and supported him.  We ate, drank and were merry until the wee hours of the morning and achieved our gifting goal.  The energy was electrically full of promise as we eagerly anticipated the creation of what became his reality TV journey.  By this point, the famous interview of Chris had already been filmed although after 3 hours of taping on the pool deck, we really had no idea how they would assemble the footage. 

As the celebratory night was turning into morning, Chris and I discussed his impending departure and the details of caring for Juli while he was gone.  We didn’t know what to expect, how long he would be gone or how far he would go in the American Idol machine but our hopes were high and we wanted to prepare for a very long absence. I couldn’t have anticipated how much I was going to miss his presence but having been witness to his life-saving powers I knew he was leaving more than the couch empty.  He was never just another ‘set of hands’ to assist with Juliana but more precisely he was the entire group of senses tuned in to Juliana’s every need, quirk, bruise, noise, and emotion.  Beginning with that first trip, carrying on still today, I feel the desire to take care of his precious fiancé as much as my precious daughter.  But more than that, after the year of extreme emotional highs and lows I was so grateful that after all he had done to love my daughter back to this side of darkness, he was going to have something to add to his resume of barista and caretaker.  It didn’t occur to me that if he succeeded, we risked losing much more than that because throughout their entire relationship and still today, he never let Juliana feel less important to him than anything, anything else. 

He is obviously not my son.  He is also not my son-in-law.  And even though we are not biologically or legally connected, years of having him integrated into our lives, he is without question, family.  But after the turn of events that began in October of 2009, what emerged was a deep and committed friend and I am so proud to get to say that.  Experiences we shared dissolved my facade as his superior and had an odd normalizing effect on our relationship.  He evolved as my peer, my equal, and my partner in this unfortunate journey.  He was a blessing for my sanity because he has a disarming way of making you feel ... healed.  I watched him countless times bring my raging daughter back to laughter and kisses simply because he turned on the soothing voice and genuine devotion.  When he sang Fix You on American Idol in his final performance, the viewing public had no idea how much that was not just a message to Juliana, but a defining personality trait. 

After he burst through TV and Internet heartstrings, it was clear that we were going to have to make room for the world to love Chris Medina right alongside my daughter and for the first time relieved she was unable to process the serious jealousy that pre-accident she wore like a battleship.  It is starting to emerge now and it is acting like fuel to try to resume her rightful place at his side.  (I am actually not going to help counsel her on that negative emotion as I did many times pre-accident because if that gets her racing toward the finish line—well, let’s just let that one go, shall we?).  Each step toward his career moved him further from the young man who watched the monitors in the hospital for signs of life or death and moves her faster toward wanting her man back.  That "fighting for my man" spirit, no matter how small and scattered the doses has ignited a new spark in her and elicited amusement in me. 

Before Chris left Juliana said to him, “Happy Birthday—remember this on Wednesday when it IS your birthday.”  But just in case that isn’t good enough, she wanted to send him one more message that can be seen by him and any of the fans she might be ‘motivated’ by…hahaha…Happy Birthday Chris Medina…from Juliana

READ:  Where it all began, in For Juliana: Almost to the Almost, One Penny at a Time, by Janet Spencer Barnes.