If It Feels Good, Do It: Weird Crime 2012

When you let your freak flag fly, be forewarned of these lessons from the Patch files: Don't shove your flag in someone else's face. It's possible someone will dislike the joy you take in life. And the man will shut you down if you don't have a permit for your freaky deaky.

What, Don't You Have a Dungeon Room? The businessman who once owned The Colosseum night club in Mokena saw the sex club he ran in rural Will County shut down this spring. Police found a dungeon room, sex swings and an orgy room in a cabin-style home in Beecher called "Club Erotica." Its motto was "If it feels good, do it." Orgies, replete with laser-light shows and taxidermied animals, took place there until Will County authorities shut it down for lack of proper permits. Mark Ferrari, who owned the house, is believed to have fled the country to escape his debts. On Mokena Patch 

Free Willie: A woman enjoying a therapeutic swim in the Tinley Park Fitness Center pool in November was disturbed to find an old man standing in the jets at the end of the pool with his swim trunks dropped to his knees and his naked cheeks staring her in the face. She turned her head to avoid the chance of a full-frontal encounter, climbed out of the pool and went to find a manager. Believed to be in his mid-70s, 5-feet-6 to 5-feet 8, and bald shaven, the man was gone by the time they returned. On Tinley Park Patch

I'm Gonna Punch You in Your Snookie: A 29-year-old New Lenox woman doing a sexy dance on the bartop at JW Hollstein Saloon in Tinley Park was slugged in the face by a 21-year-old April Sojka of Tinley Park, who told her "This isn't PoleKatz" before bopping the dancer in the nose. Sojka then summoned police to the bar to report underage drinking, but cops issued her a citation for battery. On Tinley Park Patch

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