Hey, Mom and Dad: Is It OK to Ask Your Kids to Grab You a Beer?

Parents, Patch wants to hear from you on the questions that get families talking. This week we're wondering: Is it wrong to ask your youngster to grab you a brewski?

Welcome to "Hey, Mom and Dad"—a weekly feature in which we ask our Facebook fans to share their views on parenting. We're starting off with a question we posed last week on the Patch Facebook pages:

After a long day, the head honcho in your household is exhausted and wants to kick back with a cold one. But should a kid be the one to hand it off?

Is it wrong to ask your kid to grab you a beer?


Take a look at what people had to say and join the conversation in the Comments section.

Jennifer Valdez: Fetch a beer NO. ... Go make mommy her favorite martini YES —Palos Patch Facebook

Michel Kiwi-Popyk: I say yes. it's a rule for me. no kid gets alcohol around here. the crazy thing is i remember "making" drinks for my dad. but just can't do it in today's age. —Homewood-Flossmoor Patch Facebook 

Roger Krieg: Kids want what they can't have. If they get used to beer being around, they are less likely to want it. —Lemont Patch Facebook

Tim Pursell: What? like if you get your own beer it's somehow "better" parenting? It's no different than asking YOUR OWN child to bring you some water or a can of pop. I'm not asking your child to "fetch" a beer. —Homewood-Flossmoor Patch Facebook

Angelica Gonzalez Rodriguez: Kids should not be getting that for the grown-ups. When they want something to drink they get up themselves and get their own juice box. So we should do the same. —Chicago Heights Patch Facebook 

Denise DuVernay:  As far back as I can remember, my parents didn't have a problem with that sort of thing, including giving me tastes. I think it was a good thing. For me, it normalized beer and prevented taboo from forming. (I was also allowed to taste wine and Tom & Jerry on holidays and was given brandy for insomnia, none of which I enjoyed). So for me, there wasn't much mystery around alcohol, whereas my friends who whose parents kept alcohol forbidden were the ones who did the binge drinking. —Orland Park Patch Facebook

Dave Weinert: Lorraine, YOU may arrived at adulthood well-adjusted, and many others as well, but some kids were desensitized to alcohol by a loved one, an authority figure no less, basically giving benign approval. They often become the kids that then 'sneak' a couple of cans or a random bottle under the bleachers or into the park...when they are maybe fourteen. From there on, a life of potentially bad decisions isn't guaranteed, but you have to think that some of those kids didn't just randomly decide to drink after having examples that behaved otherwise. —Oak Lawn Patch Facebook

Missy Goodman: In your own home, to bring an unopened beer from the fridge or cooler, sure. But outside of home, obviously it's illegal. —Frankfort Patch Facebook

Joan Hoye Bravo: Not okay to have the child fetch you a beer. If you have to drink, then I would think that you could get up and retrieve it for yourself. Why involve the children? —Oak Forest Patch Facebook


So what's your take? Is it OK in your book, or a parenting blunder? Tell us in the comments. 

Eileen hynes September 19, 2012 at 01:24 PM
No its not ok the adult wants one they need to get up and get one. That's just teaching a child how to be lazy!
tmarc75 September 19, 2012 at 01:59 PM
Amen Dave
RBB September 19, 2012 at 03:01 PM
I agree with eileen we should make our children selfish and only worry about doing things for themselves. Parents don't do enough and kids need to expect more from their parents. Children,should stayed glued to their iphones and not get mom a glass of juice cup of tea or abeer, don't do dishes our clean the bathroom.you need to learn at an early age that you are the only one that is important.so hurry up and get back to your virtual world. Get wait a minute isn't that what I an doing? Got to go and get back to the real world with people. Say hi to a stranger, open a for for someone.or play a game with your kids whole having a beer and the kids a juice box.
Tired of the B.S. September 19, 2012 at 03:05 PM
Gotta pretty much agree with David B on this one. There is got to be more things to be concerned about than this. Better turn off the TV because there are plenty of shows that have people drinking and you can't let the kids see that. Turn off the radio, too, lots of songs with drinking references in the lyrics and some songs with references to things that are much worse. Get rid of your computer and all video games, the games can be violent and the computer has access to a wealth of inappropriate material. How about we go back to letting the parents decide what is best for their kids. Works pretty good for me and my kids. Worked pretty well for my parents, too.
Amy Kupcake Litviak September 19, 2012 at 03:14 PM
there's nothing wrong with it. ESPECIALLY if you've taken the time to sit and talk to your child about the effects (good and bad) of alcohol. dont make them think it's something you should hide. i would make drinks for aunts and uncles and cousins at my grandparents annual family reunion and i'm not a fall down drunk because of it. someone took the time to educate me on alcohol instead of pushing a tough conversation under the rug.
Tobias Cichon September 19, 2012 at 03:38 PM
I've asked my nine year old to get me my car keys. Is that bad, too? Is he suddenly going to go binge driving? I haven't even talked to him about being a responsible driver yet.
Kyle Williams September 19, 2012 at 04:16 PM
I would never ask my kids to fetch me a beer, but my 7 yo daughter rolls me some mean doobies. /sarcasm
Richard DeVries September 19, 2012 at 04:17 PM
Way to much thinking about this going on. I say it's not a problem.
Dennis Robaugh (Editor) September 19, 2012 at 04:30 PM
Every question in life need not be so serious, Dave. Send a kid to fetch you a beer and relax.
SHUSSBAR September 19, 2012 at 05:53 PM
:-). I like her comments >> Denise DuVernay: (...)My parents didn't have a problem with that sort of thing, including giving me tastes. I think it was a good thing. For me, it normalized beer and prevented taboo from forming. (I was also allowed to taste wine, which I did not enjoy at the time). So for me, there wasn't much mystery around alcohol, whereas my friends who whose parents kept alcohol forbidden were the ones who did the binge drinking. Ok, i grew up in Europe and the 21 y old rule does not apply. Does that make kids drink more or less, not sure. Preventing taboo from forming is the idea.
HF Resident September 19, 2012 at 08:27 PM
There is so much more to worry about with today's kids. I feel trying to figure out if this negatively affect a child is a waste of time and the last of our worries.
Michael Sewall (Editor) September 19, 2012 at 08:34 PM
Well played, Tobias!
SouthSide September 19, 2012 at 08:43 PM
Darnell September 19, 2012 at 10:45 PM
Here is a perfect example of this type of ridiculousness! http://www.aol.com/video/texas-mom-jailed-for-letting-kids-play-outside/517483342/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl38%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D207722
Karen Schultz September 19, 2012 at 11:32 PM
NO it is not okay to ask your child to fetch you a beer at my house. Get up and get it yourself....unless you are teaching your children a lesson, do it yourself, whatever it is...! Schools teach students that alcohol and cigarettes are drugs, though legal they are a way to escape. And yes there are other ways to escape that provide healthy outcomes. If you have a bad habit, you may deny it by continuing to use it but do you want to teach your children to join you and if it is illegal for them to join you in public, they will do it in secret. And they may want to be different and try another escape, another drug just to be different than their parents. Does that mean that parents who do not use drugs, legal or otherwise their children will stay clear of trying it? No. But they generally will not get hooked into it for fear of disappointing those they respect and admire for their good model. WE all have a bit of stuff we pass on ...lets at least try to pass on the very best of ourselves to our children and grandchildren.
Darnell September 19, 2012 at 11:57 PM
@ Dennis Robaugh : I am relaxed. Nobody said the question had to be serious but this is just an utterly ridiculous question for the sake of dialogue questioning the morality of one sending their kid to get them a beer. Honestly, these types of questions are what feeds and plants the seeds in the minds of the mighty righteous moralists in our society to take things to the stupidity level. A perfect example of this is in a link I posted further down in the comments. A mother turned in by her neighbors AND arrested by police, detained for 18+ hours and charged with child endangerment for letting her kids ride scooters in front of their house in a cul-de-sac unsupervised. Get my drift? So what,,,do we all have to look over our shoulders now for fear of a neighbor calling us in to the OF Police because they witnessed us send our kids to get us a beer? And the people that pose these questions are supposed degreed proffesional's? Seriously pathetic and what is wrong with our society today!
Darnell September 20, 2012 at 12:05 AM
And may I add,,,I and some neighbors were in my garage one evening watching a late Bears game drinking beer. Husbands and wives. Our kids were riding scooters up and down the sidewalk. A neighbor DID call the police and said children were riding scooters up and down the sidewalk unsupervised. The OF police did show up. The officer shook his head on arrival as he knew the kids were not unsupervised. Thank God we have officers in OF with common sense!
Amy Kupcake Litviak September 20, 2012 at 12:08 AM
Well said David b! People are way too uptight and kids are way too sheltered. What happened to playing outside until the street lights came on? Time to cut the cord and let kids be kids. It wont hurt your kid to have them grab a beverage for you. Were everyone of your parents bad for having you get a drink for them? No!
Bob Laird September 20, 2012 at 12:21 AM
way too many libs here. asking the kid to fetch a beer, soda, or doobie will ruin them? get serious. (kidding about the doobie) As long as mom AND dad are there the kid has a good start.
Tamarack September 20, 2012 at 01:00 AM
Watching a late game in your garage, noisy scooters on the sidewalk? Maybe the neighbors complained because you were annoying the hell out of them.
Darnell September 20, 2012 at 01:10 AM
@ Tamarack : Like a 3 pm game is that late! Kids play on the street all the time. I listen to kids play BBgames, FB games, Bike riding and yelling, kids in trampolines,,wait,,now there's an issue, pools RC cars tearing up the street,basketballs bouncing! Get a life,,people like you are annoying! Thank God my kids are grown,,people today are WAY to worried about everyone elses business.
Darnell September 20, 2012 at 01:11 AM
TP Resident September 20, 2012 at 01:16 AM
I agree Bob! There are entirely to many libs here! Fetching a beer is a big deal but serving them McDonalds burgers and crap food all day is okay?!?!?
Darnell September 20, 2012 at 01:18 AM
There is not a parent in this world who has not asked their kid to get something for them be it anything up to and including a beer! Anyone that say's they don't is a damn liar! Enough of this nonsense!
BEATING JJN AT NFL PICKS September 20, 2012 at 01:46 AM
.......and up until now I didn't feel so guilty about it! Thanks Patch, thanks for nothing!!!! What's next....So Patch women what's your take? Does size matter?
Dennis Robaugh (Editor) September 20, 2012 at 02:22 AM
That's a good point, HF. Our parents didn't worry too much about whether they were messing us up. And their parents didn't either. And we turned out OK, right? Well, most of us did.
James Boskey September 20, 2012 at 04:58 PM
My grandchildren fight to get me a beer!
Titan Dad September 20, 2012 at 07:26 PM
shut up already.....stupid.
Chronicles of Bob September 20, 2012 at 09:15 PM
Gosh darn them libs with their McDonalds and job destroying 99 cent hamburgers
Tamarack September 20, 2012 at 10:59 PM
What in the WORLD does this have to do with "libs?" smh


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