Boys of Summer Start a Cold Season

Ahh, the smell of freshly cut grass, sun warming us, no snow on the ground, ducks and geese in the ponds—all of that can mean only one thing.  It's baseball season once again.  This is not going to end as warm and fuzzy as it starts out.

This week's nspired me to write about my favorite sport.  I have been a major baseball fan since I was old enough to hold a bat.  According to my parents, that was in the secnd hour of my life.  I was a big baby. My wife still says that about me, but, I guess, for other reasons....

I’m only in my thirties, but I honestly cannot remember a year in which there was so very little hope of a good season on either side of Madison Ave.  Both teams are starting over.  New managers, loss of super stars, inability to get rid of people who were dragging the program down, and GM’s saying they expect the team to go out and do their best—which is code for “we’re going to be terrible this year.”  When you’re a kid and someone tells you to do your best, that’s what they mean.  When you are a General Manager of a baseball team and you say “do your best” to the players, you probably have your eyes covered as if you’re watching a horror movie. 

The marketing guys had to have a field day with trying to drum up business this year.  

The Cubs slogan is “It’s a way of life” with the "W" cleverly in the “W” flag that will be shown only a handful of times.   The way of life is what?  Watching a losing team?  Anyone who I knew who was alive when the Cubs were last a World Series winning team have passed away.  My great-grandfather was 5.   Good luck with that.  A good friend of mine posted a flag on Facebook w/ a blue "L".  I think that would be a better flag for this slogan, replacing the "L" in "Life."

The White Sox slogan is worse.  “appreciate the game.” What?!? Seriously?? Why not just say “Baseball is like pizza — even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”  Slogans like “Yes, we are still playing "major" league baseball!” and “His name? It’s on the back” might be better for this year’s team.  I feel so bad for Robin Ventura. Great player, handed a AA club and asked to go win. This is one long year just waiting to happen.  This team stinks on ice.  And, this is the team I root for.  Boy, oh boy. ...  It seems like 2005 was only 100 years ago....

The only hope I hold out for either team stems from the 1989 movie Major League. The original one, not the cheesy sequels. There’s the scene early in the movie where all the people of Cleveland are asking themselves who these guys on this team are. I finally understand how they feel. They end up getting motivated and beat the White Sox (ironically) to take the division. That sounds great, but I don’t want to see the season end with a Ken Williams or Theo Epstein cut-out in the locker room. I think that would actually de-motivate an otherwise terrible lineup.  Maybe for every win, they could cover UP a part of their picture. Hmmm....

(I would post the clip, but the Patch is a family website.  Go to YouTube and search “major league (1989) who are these guys” — it’s the second one in my search.)

Of course, not lost on me is the fact that if I were signed to the opening day roster of either team, I would be the oldest person on the team. Paul Konerko? I’m nearly a year older than he is. I’m even 7 months older than Shawn Camp. I am very old. I am now officially too old to keep up my dream of playing professional baseball. Which this year, turns out, is a good decision anyway.

So, I turn to the real baseball. I am a manager and a coach in the Oak Forest Baseball Association. I love working with the kids, teaching them to love the game despite the professional team’s awfulness. There are about 50 teams or so in all the age groups. It’s a great organization. In the younger leagues—t-ball and pinto where I coach—we focus a lot of attention on teaching fundamentals.  Winning is secondary—and non-existent in tball. That’s important to me, and I think the kids have a lot of fun in this league.

(Shameless plug — there’s a BIG and HIGHLY important .  If you are able to come out to the candlelight bowling at lovely —3 games, food, and lots of fun starting at 9:30 p.m. for only $30 each – please drop me a line.  It means a lot to the program).

So—here’s to opening day.   I’m glad the Hawks, Bulls and Wolves are here to keep us interested, and the Windy City Thunderbolts are around to help remind us about the love of the game.  I might even turn to video games.  Anything to keep me from the heartache awaiting this season.

What do you think?  How is this season going to fair for your favorite team?  Got another slogan idea?  Post your comment below.