The Beauty Bump

Today was Juliana’s first day back at Next Steps where she receives intensive exercise therapy with the focus on getting her to walk. I love that place because they don’t box themselves in with a single way to accomplish a goal and they are familiar with, and devoted to, my daughter. We were very excited for them to see the changes in her because we wanted confirmation that we weren’t imagining it. I texted Nikki throughout the morning to check on how her day was going.  Since the routine was just beginning again, I worried that the old habits would bring back the entire old attitude. During her stay at the hospital we saw the first real breakthroughs into levity and laughter but even as that is coming back, the "new, fun Juli" is still interspersed with the dark and depressed one that is prone to fits of anger.  In a brain injury, improvement is always peppered with setbacks so I feared that like an addict trying to recover, going home to her old routines would reignite the overall darkness we prayed was gradually getting stamped out. But for today, I was blessed with relief because the report was fabulous. She was in a good mood, and was looking forward to the going to therapy to show them how much she had improved.

Wait … good mood? Looking forward to therapy? Who IS the girl and what have you done with my daughter?!  (Shhhhh … Nobody say a word. … I am actually OK with the switcheroo.) 

The next report I got was through Nikki was from Thomas at Next Steps. It seems they were shocked and impressed with her new attitude. And what do you know,  It seems her performance was better as a result. We have told her so many times that she "gets in her own way" but of course, she wasn’t able to step aside mentally anymore than she was physically. Now it seems she may be getting the hang of that skill along with her renewed progress in walking. Today was like a report card on the past month of procedures, therapies and medicine adjustments and I am so happy that what we suspected has been confirmed by others: Juliana has made significant improvements. Her laughter was so refreshing to those young men who had spent the last 10 months tolerating her highly agitated tantrums that they even bought her lunch! Talk about winning this girl over, her attitude got even BETTER from there. Thomas told her, “You always make my day, now more than ever.”  Yes Thomas, she has that affect on people. 

You can see from the picture the remarkable change in her.  Standing nearly straight barely held up since her balance has improved greatly and smiling with genuine happiness. Her legs are stronger than ever and the more standing and walking she does the stronger she gets. She still has pain in her ankle and so she has to take rests along the way and elevate her foot but each day that gets better as well. 

The results are coming faster now because there is motivation in her spirit and that is the same one that is working across the ocean to create beautiful music we are all waiting to hear: To impress the one she loves. Juliana talks about Chris as much as he writes songs about her. She says over and over how much she misses him and how much she loves him. She can’t wait for him to see how much she has progressed. Considering when he left she was still weak from the seizures, the dramatic improvement is moving. She talks excitedly about his return and hopes he also notices her progress. He told her that he will be back no later than the 27th of this month and she looks at the calendar several times a day. Absence has made her heart grow fonder and that has pushed her beyond her own sadness to feel her own achievements....

Her one concern was that the newest addition to her anatomy would be something Chris would not be "attracted to." With the baclofen pump, which is a sizable implement, the patient gets what is known as a "pump bump" where it can be seen under the skin. I assured her that although she has always been beautiful, Chris never seemed to need the outward beauty she depended on for her own self confidence. She brought it up repeatedly and I knew she had to hear it from him, in his own way.    

“Do you care that I have a pump bump?” Juli asked.

“What? NO! Of course not, why would I care?” was Chris's comforting reply.

“Because … it’s kind of … big.”

“Hahahahaha. No Juliana, there is nothing you could do that would make you less beautiful to me. And if it is helping you to feel better, it probably makes you even more beautiful.”

…Told ya...

“I named it.” Juli announced.

“You named your bump?” I could hear Chris's amused confusion over the phone.

“Yes. I named it Chris,” Juli said proudly.

“Why did you do that?”

“So, that you are always with me.”

SOB.

You just can’t make this stuff up.